The Perfect Tattoo Parlor

The Perfect Tattoo Parlor

There are good tattoo parlors, and then there are great tattoo parlors. (And I?m sure we?ve all been to some terrible parlors, too.) But if you?re going to pay good money to permanently ink your body, you deserve an amazing experience. Think about it: if you are there for hours at a time, you deserve some pampering.

Here is what the perfect tattoo parlor would have in a perfect world.

Custom Music Choices

There is nothing worse than listening to crappy music while you?re getting inked. In a perfect tattoo parlor, every customer could pick a custom playlist. Maybe you pick your music when you plan your ink. Maybe you just select your favorite Pandora station. Regardless, you deserve decent music.

Personal Temperature Control

I envision this like those minivans with custom temperature control at every seat. Imagine this: a heated tattoo chair to warm you up, and your own personal A/C vent to cool you down. Pure, perfect comfort.

Free Booze

If pedicure salons can give out free wine, tattoo parlors should, too. I mean, as long as you?re sober when you sign the consent form, drinking shouldn?t be an issue. I?m sure there are some laws in place preventing this, but remember, this is in a perfect world. A perfect world allows you to sip two fingers of whiskey while being inked.


On that note, why don?t tattoo parlors have food? Imagine how much better it would be with some classic pub fare: fries, wings, maybe even a decent burger. Hire some attractive waiters and waitresses. You could just tip extra when you pay.

Maybe this is my personal fantasy, but if you?re going to shell out a few hundred dollars and spend hours under the needle, you deserve a few perks. What would you add to a perfect tattoo parlor?